My Prospects

So as I told you in a post a few days ago I had a meeting with someone who was going to help me sort of some sort of productive future.

Now the whole fuck up with the stalker thing was sorted so let’s not delve too much into that.

But basically my options are this: college, apprenticeship/job or full time course.

Now my dad said I would be able to handle and apprenticeship since it’s on average 35 hours a week and my dad said he doesn’t think I could handle it and I guess I would agree.

College as I’ve already explained multiple times is just not my sort of option.

Now, full time course is where my head currently lands. Now it gets complicated. So in the simplest terms a full time course is a more intense course where instead of doing several subjects like you would at college, you do one and they’re not A levels, they’re BTECs which stands for “Business and Technology Education Council” but instead of changing like GCSEs to A levels, it’s just level 1, 2, 3 etc.

So I have about 7-9 GCSEs ranging from C-A* so in those terms I’ve passed, I can completely skip level 1. I could technically skip level 2 onto level 3 depending on what I was choosing. Some courses want you to have level 2.

Since I have to pick a course this year for December, I am doing Level 2 IT course which even if I choose to opt out of after the year is up is still a useful skill to have. If I don’t like IT and don’t want to move onto a further study of IT I am going to study counselling.

Counselling is different to IT since you have to be 19 to do learn it and their level 2 course is a 3 month course starting in January finishing in March or starting in March finishing in June. So I’d have to wait until 2016 to do it since I turn 19 in 2015. After that I can start the counselling course at level 3. But this is all if I don’t want to continue IT.

To do IT level 2, you just need 4 GCSEs with grades D or more – check! Level 2 is equivalent to GCSEs, if I did all 7 units it would be equivalent to I think 4 GCSEs.

So what does the course include: Communication in IT (Mandatory) – Working in IT (Mandatory) – Hardware – Setting up an IT Network – Computer Systems – Computer Games Design – Website Development

Which I think are all useful skills. I can always drop out if I can’t cope. But I think this course is 15 hours a week so assuming a 5 day week is either 3 hours every day or 5 hours 3 days a week. I don’t think they can go above that so max it’d be is 5 hours 3 time a week. Which will probably be easier for me.

Now the course, whilst I’m a little worried I’ll struggle – which may or may not be unfounded consider I exceed the entry requirements and I have a working knowledge of a computer, I think I could cope. I think I could possibly do it.

People. At college, I had people I’d been with since year 4 which is about 8 years worth of time and whilst I wasn’t friends with anyone for 8 years, there was familiarity in seeing their faces. I never came into school thinking I wasn’t going to see them, they were in groups, groups which I knew, groups I knew the social hierarchy of. Groups whilst never directly communicating with. I knew. There were going to be no surprises.

But now I’m going to (yes still a college) a place I’d never been before with people I’d never been with and they could pretty much range from ages 16 to ages 25+ according to what my advisor said. The 16 year olds are fresh out of law mandatory GCSEs and may wish to not work and mess about (which from how my advisor said it I was supposed to help them??? I would help them with stuff if they asked but I’m not going to teach them how to work if they don’t want to know) and how was I supposed to socialise with anyone really over the age of 19? I can barely talk to kids my own age. Fuck social anxiety. I hate it.

I do focus on the negatives when it comes to social interactions. Though if we were to spin this positively: I currently have two friends who I talk to on at least a semi-regular basis. Especially since I recently broke up with this girl I’ve been dating (I don’t know if I mentioned this but I’m pansexual) which I think is probably based off my whole commitment issues and nitpicking thing I have going. But yes, two semi regular friends: EH and KE. I speak to KE everyday via email but she lives in another country so not really viable and seeing. EH doesn’t live too far from me and she promised that when her mum (who is home schooling her brother) took her brother out to like muesums and stuff that she and I would tag along. But just like most things EH promises, it never happened. So best case scenario I make at least one friend.

I haven’t filled in the form yet so I might not get in, so let’s hope I do.