Moving out

I moved in with my partner last June (2015) and to say it’s been rough is an understatement. I was impulsive with the decision and if I’d thought more, I shouldn’t have moved until he got his own place but I wanted out from my dad’s so it was perfect. At least I thought it was.

To be honest it wasn’t so bad when I first moved in, I did find myself getting taking advantage of a lot because I am a people pleaser and so got stuck babysitting a lot in the summer but I also saw some friends and I think I was still partially stuck in that bubble that I had created in Feb-March where it was my first time of ‘bearable’ mood swings and actual periods of mood swing free. My brain went into overdrive as a lot of brains might do if they’ve been mentally ill for years and try to make up for lost time. If that happens, sit and think on all big decisions for at least 24 hours before making a decision. It’s hard but it’ll help in the long run.

Anyway, when SIL1 and her kid went to Canada I fell into a routine of (post school) – going to my dad’s 4 days out of the 5 week days and that last one I stayed home and did chores whilst catching up with TV. I’m still behind on TV and I don’t even want to get started on chores. Especially being at my dad’s all day. But GC, me and our dog live in two rooms with a wardrobe out in the corridor for the back door. It’s not a viable option to have too much mess but he’s tired from work, I’m tired from pregnancy. We don’t have the energy or time. So the place is a bit of a mess. But also, to be fair, imagine you couldn’t share stuff with the people you shared a house with so you had to have a 4-5 room house all cramped inside one little room. Which is why when the Baby is born, I’m moving back to my dads. 

I don’t know whether I’m excited by it. Part of me misses my family. Part of me wants my own space. The only way I will get our own house is by the council. The council however have a bit of a ridiculous rule where, at the moment GC and I have to wait a few years until we get a place. With the baby’s birth certificate, it’ll be about 6 months. Hopefully we’ll be lucky to get a place.

Over the next few months, I have to add the stress of moving. It’s going to be a slow process but I have to do it for the baby.

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