15 minutes in the morning

It’s important to take a few seconds of rest when you can. I will probably learn just how valuable those seconds are after the baby. I get approximately 15 minutes in the morning to myself where I don’t feel guilty for having them.

I have the same routine every morning and I think that’s a pretty good thing to keep the same morning and night routine as it helps wake you up and put you to sleep. Admittedly, I keep better to the morning one than the night one.

My partner gets ready for work before I need to get up but eventually through the period of getting ready I groggily wake up and tell him he looks gorgeous (which he especially does at the moment because he’s grown his hair out and it looks amazing) and in between brushing his teeth and getting dressed, he will usually climb into bed for a few minute cuddle and then get out to get dressed. At about 6:50am (I think, maybe a few minutes earlier), I walk with him to the door, we hug and we say “byes” and “I love yous” and I tell him to be careful of cars because it’s still dark in the morning. I lock the door behind him, clean my orthodontal equipment, turn on 4 alarms all spaced differently apart and get into bed and sleep until 8:30am.

This is when I “officially” wake up. I eat, drink and then get my phone out to check facebook. SIL1 is one of those people who like to post on facebook a lot so I hope to find something about her morning that’ll help me with mine. For example, this morning I read that she was taking a day off from the gym. Well yesterday when I walked to the bus stop, she walked past me on the same route. We didn’t really talk. I was tired anyway and psyching myself up. Anyway, so today I was going to take a different route to a stop just before the one I usually used but after reading this, I’m pretty sure I can take my usual route today. That helps me mentally plan my morning route.

Usually around 8:45am, I get up, go to the bathroom, get dressed and hair. Just due to general tiredness I’ve forgoed make-up and a few other luxuries that used to mean it took longer to get ready because all I do everyday is a quick walk to the bus, a walk to the second bus stop, a 15 minute wait for that bus and then to my dad’s so I haven’t got to make myself look pretty. But my self esteem has been lower recently so I’ve done it a couple of times and it’s helped and I realised I was still done before 9am so it didn’t make a lot of difference to my time.

9am is when I get my 15 minute break. Where there is no planned out thing of what I’ll do. Sometimes I’ll begin writing a blog that I’ll finish on the bus, sometimes I’ll be doing some research or just idly spending 15 minutes doing nothing. SIL1 usually comes home from dropping her kid off to school during this time so I sometimes hear her in the kitchen which does suck because I try and sneak out without making noise. Until I realised that it’s HER fault there is this tension. She wasn’t back a week before she decided I didn’t like which is why I kept going out, she didn’t seem to take into account she’d be away for several months and her husband had taken a week off especially to spend time with her so why would I seriously want to intrude on that?

Ever since that it just kind of turned me off to seeing her at all. She came back not after we found out I was pregnant and both GC and I were worried about what my health, weight loss etc were doing to the baby and the pregnancy coupled with my bad health had made me pretty tired so after spending the entire day out, I was always way too tired to do anything which is another reason I don’t venture onto the other side of the house.

It is weird though. We live in the same house and the first time I’d seen her since just before Christmas was yesterday. I’d heard her. But hadn’t seen her. Usually, I would have gotten over seeing her pretty quickly but I was raring for an argument yesterday. I went to my old college where I was studying the childcare course, where’d I’d paid for a coursebook and never received it and at first it didn’t bother me too much but when I found out I was pregnant I thought it might come of some use. So after finding out I was pregnant I emailed the course tutor, no reply. A few weeks later I emailed her again, no reply. I emailed the queries part of the site but the email got forwarded to that same course tutor and again no reply. Last Saturday I emailed the site again but this time I put if I don’t get an answer please forward me to the complaints department and I think they did anyway and that tutor got told off for ignoring me because Monday I had a reply that the course book was ready to pick up on Tuesday. The route to the school got annoyingly complicated involving the use of 3 extra buses and a run to the bus to get to my dad’s but I did it and to be honest, I was pretty proud of myself for standing up for myself. I just kept thinking that when the baby is born and at school, I will be the person who has to stick up for the baby so I might as well practice now.

Nowadays I just like waiting for the days where my dad won’t be around the house and it’s not because I don’t enjoy talking to him but it used to be I needed sleep but I recently discovered that I can put episodes on a USB and plug it into the TV at my dads and that’s what I did yesterday. I probably should have slept instead but I managed to stay up pretty late so I don’t know if it was just a one off or if the tiredness from pregnancy is wearing off as I’m coming up to the 12th week. But yesterday was pretty good.

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