I’ve been searching through my DVDs recently and realised that there is a few amount I haven’t watched on the actual DVD rather than in the cinema or online or on the TV and then there are one I just haven’t watched so I considered rewatching the marvel movies or Pirates of the Carribean but the mental capacity to watch a DVD is just something I do not have right now. Plus I have tonsillitis at the moment so there’s that. I may just watch a comedy series on DVD because I cannot get my wii and by extension netflix working on my tv at the moment.
I have however found my 3DS and started playing Animal Crossing: New Leaf as I find that it is a relaxing game but requires a modicum on concentration so it’s useful to build that up again maybe.
So after talking with my psychiatric nurse we decided to send me through the crisis team and hopefully to inpatients and the crisis team appt was today and it was… okay in the beginning: they asked me questions and I answered them about my current state etc and I mean it was pretty much me repeating myself. The important bit though was at the end she said she thought home treatment was best where they would come to MY house and observe me and no I don’t want that. I want to be left alone and my house is my comfort zone and nobody enters it. I don’t even let my friends here so I’m not letting a bunch of strangers. It’s a compartmentalizing thing.
So we agreed I’d be seen at my GP practice. Now I actually was writing this blog last night, got tired and didn’t get back to it until now but between then and now, I was waiting for the crisis team to call me yesterday like the promised, instead I get a call at about 10:30am saying to be at the GP’s surgery for 11:45am – great, right? I was tired and I am ill so last thing I wanted.
I was tired, depressed and bored so I guess I wasn’t the most cooperative especially considering that i don’t want to go into hospital after they told me how bad the adult wards are with people screaming and stuff, I just couldn’t do that. But it basically summed up with: “you’ll feel better if you were more structured” haha so explain the suicidalness at school.
I am tired right now and ill so I am going to go lie down. I will write a better, more extensive blog at another time.