Because my older brothers are busy Christmas day, we had Christmas dinner together today and I was a bit apprehensive when I first found out but about 2 days ago my mood drastically lifted and I welcomed hypomania. I had it all day and it did turn into irritability at one point but it got back to the happy side and I was glad of it but by the end of Monday 22nd Dec (the 3rd day) it was filtering out but it was there for dinner despite the fact I hadn’t slept in over 24hrs and helped me get through my dad snapping at me all the time e.g. he asked my brothers if they liked peas and sweetcorn but one of my brothers said he wasn’t a fan of sweet corn so me and my other brother said we’d be fine with just peas and he had a go at me for repeating it despite the fact 1. he’s hearing impaired so I am used to repeating everything and 2. my other brother was repeating it as well.
Well the eldest brother (whose birthday it was as well) – AdB stuck up for me but I went up stairs with my younger brother and just listened to music and messed about until we got called downstairs and all through dinner my brother and I would share glances every time our dad snapped at me (or him once) or we looked at each other and laughed. We pulled crackers I got an orange hair bobble and he got a plastic paperclip which he broke because he thought he could bend it out like a metal one.
My brother and I went back upstairs listened to music and I came out to him as pansexual and he was really accepting of it. I told him about my ex-girlfriend who just winds me up and told him I had ex-boyfriends but let’s leave the stalking stories out of it, to be honest. But it all went well.
During the dinner AdB got a call from his brother and sister (like I consider his brother my brother too but I don’t consider his sister my sister) wishing him a happy birthday and I could hear the phone and our brother asked him to pass along saying hey and stuff to us (he forgot).
Which brings me to now, feeling my energy fleeting I decided to finish putting photos in photo albums before the energy went and I was writing dates on the back and I didn’t have one of the dates actually on my computer but I knew it was on facebook so I went on facebook and despite the fact I only had to click on pictures, absent mindedly I scrolled down and I saw one of those facebook videos people make which was inserting people’s faces into elves and his sister had made one for him.
Earlier in the year, his sister and I got into an argument because she called my dad a tw** because of the way he was acting in a conflict between my dad and his sister (my aunt) despite the fact he had nothing to do with her and I told her not to insult him to me like that and we argued mainly because she said when I was “older” I’d understand. Maybe. But she was getting really nasty and condensing to a teenager when she’s 40-something. So she unfriended me.
So I was lonely… I might have written a blog about it before… and decided to add her back. Partly because I was lonely but partly because I wanted to see if she could be mature and adult about this and this was in October/early November. I kept making excuses that she was busy which is why she hadn’t accepted but that video on my brothers facebook? Meant she’d been on (in the last 20hrs according to the time stamp) and obviously declined the friend request.
It just seems a bit hypocritical because she was all about us all being a family but now she’s cutting off family for that. Ironically my aunt, the one she’s sticking up for, used to bitch about her. It does show she’s petty and I shouldn’t be upset. We only met each other in 2009 and rarely saw her then but it’s upsetting and I’m feeling down now. Like I feel depressed but still have energy – I don’t know. I think my new years resolution should be to get rid of toxic people such as her.