One thing that will get me angrier than anything is a broken computer. My computer isn’t broken, just slow and that also winds me up. I’ve been thinking of getting a new one but who has the money? *not me*
As for illness, a few days a go I came down with a sore throat which quickly developed into me losing my voice and now that my voice is back, I have a cold. You can’t make this stuff up. Seriously, even I who is in the midst of writing a book at the moment has yet to make up something quite as gruelling as getting ill this frequently.
So, Miss D had a meeting with my head of sixth form and it transpires that they want me to repeat year 12. Well my mocks would indicate that: U in law (expected), C in English but a U in psychology. U for those who have not been through the UK school system means Ungraded which in my mind means that because I didn’t do the psychology exam until a lot later, they didn’t mark it either until after the grades were put on the system or they didn’t get it. I really doubt I actually got a U in psychology. But based on this, I think, they want me to repeat year 12 and well guess my answer to that… A resounding NO! I hated year 12 the first time around, I’m not going to like it very much the second time around. So this sent me into a spiral of despair, obviously. There was no other reaction to be honest. I cried, I panicked. I went through the 5 stages of grief and am hovering around bargaining and depression, feigning in and out of the stages.
It’s difficult for me to hear that I need to repeat because my grades are bad because I used to be such a bright student and intelligent and not to sound braggy but I got the grades too. So to have such poor grades is a hit to the ol’ self esteem and mood. I have to discuss whether I like the idea next meeting which is Wednesday. Then on Thursday or Friday go out with EC and do some pottery stuff but that has a big question mark by the side of it. I think it sounds like a good idea but having fun nowadays costs money and money is something we don’t have. But let’s cross our fingers and hope.
I’ve been trying to find a positive or silver lining to brighten this very glum time I’m having but it’s hard to find one at this time. But maybe this week something amazing will happen to brighten my day.