You have a really big folder
– Clinical psychologist talking about my mental health records.
So what is a psychometric test? A psychometric test is a set of tasks that measure your intelligence, memory, reasoning and basically your cognitive functioning.
I was give the over 16 test (16 – 90) and it started with:
A picture is put in front of you with colours and you need to make that coloured pattern with blocks. I got one wrong and didn’t complete the other but I finished the task which was shocking to the clinical psychologist doing the task.
Psychologist H, would read out two words and ask me for the relation between the two and I think I did the most black and white choices ever invented in the history of man.
Next in the pattern task
I was then given a line in which there was a pattern and asked which I thought was next in the pattern – I don’t think I did brilliantly.
Short term memory with numbers
At first numbers were read to me and I had to repeat them back, I’d say I got to remembering 5 numbers before I screwed up. Then I had to repeat the numbers backwards, I think I got to 4 numbers safely repeated back. Then I had to repeat the numbers back in order of lowest to highest, I safely got to 4. I didn’t finish that task so I guess my memory is going to be the thing that comes back with the problems.
Next in the Square task
A pattern was created in a set of 4 squares and I had to find the next in the pattern and I think I did alright with that one.
Two symbols were on the sheet next to a line of other symbols. Now one of those two symbols would have looked the same as on in the pattern or none of them looked the same. If they looked the same I put a line through the one that looks the same, if they didn’t I put a line through ‘no’.
And then it ended and I have to go back to do some arithmetic *cries* and other tasks. I was focused on the math more than the other tasks she described. But my appointment isn’t for two weeks. So, my darlings, what has been going on in my world:
Grievances (because they are the bad news):
- I have a rash that comes and goes (thanks lamotrigine). It’s the non-deadly one. I just put calamine lotion on it and it fades.
- On Sunday, I had a mixed episode where I threw an angry fit because of an imagined slight my family did. I punched things, I cried and then I was laughing whilst crying and then I was suicidal and then I calmed down. Looked at the behaviour and said in a vocal tone “what the fuck was going on?” and I wanted to blame my medication but it’s 25mg for three days at that point so it couldn’t have been medication. It’s a thing I’m terming “2014 MOOD” and it means that ever since 2014 started my mood has been nothing but fucked up. I had a 4-5 week manic episode rather than a 2 week manic episode. I had a crying and laughing episode which I think is dysmorphic mania when usually if I am to have a mixed episode it’s agitated depression. There’s a difference, a big difference. The difference? The worrying difference? The suicidal ideation is on the rise with dysmorphic mania than it is with agitated depression (ironic, right?)
- I am getting my trial exam results back this Friday which means I have to go to school and unfortunately the lesson I have is law and well, I don’t see good things happening.
- Hiccups. I have not gone mad(der). I was talking to this girl, also on lamotrigine and she has hiccups, I don’t get it like her – hiccuping for 3 minutes at at time. I hiccup twice and then no more. For that I will blame the medication.
- I have this friend, EC, she reads my messages and then ignores them but when she does reply she doesn’t say sorry or anything and I know she reads them because facebook says “read on: etc”. But whether she’s ignoring me or lazy is another matter.
- Parent-Teacher day.
- I made a Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy blog which has taken off with popularity and found myself even buying the new set of comics but the payment for this issue would go into grievances.
- It’s school holidays next week which = rest for me.
- I have an appointment with Miss D tomorrow which means I can air some of these grievances which I plan on doing since I only have this blog to vent on and I would like to get eye contact on these problems.
- I’ve started reading a little which is good because I don’t want to continue being non-functioning while depressed.
- I’ve done half my psychometric test.
- Game Of Thrones – Fire and Ice A Foreshadowing is out and it is good.
And well yes, I suppose my bad things list is longer than my good things list but least there are good things and if I find a way to focus on them maybe bipolar disorder won’t be so hard to live with.