I say a lot about the universe and it’s alignment with my life. I mean if you’ve been watching the new Sherlock Holmes series you’ll see that the universe is rarely so sloppy as to create coincidences but there is no other way to explain these things.
Remember that girl I met EH, she uses Autism Outreach for aspergers and I learnt this a few months ago and aside from my brother and my dad (sorta) no one knows about her aspergers or that she uses Autism Outreach and yesterday I am offered a place under Bipolar Outreach. Universal sloppiness, anyone?
It was explained to me that in six months CAMHS would have had to look for another place for me to go to, like adult services but like I said six months away. So why the sudden offer on the table? Why didn’t they put this offer on the table several months ago? Well, to explain the suddenness I would have to point the finger at my father who pissed my psychiatrist off (or possibly scared him) by threatening to take action against him for not having the blood tests but prescribing a 1g dose of Carbamzepine that caused blurred vision, ataxia and dizziness which has caused this last week to be relatively school-less. Though the official reason is my brand of recent mania has sounded on the verge of a full psychotic episode, any truth to that? Maybe. But I didn’t think so. Though crazy doesn’t know they’re crazy, so maybe I am verging on psychosis. But what are the benefits?
I’d have a consultant to manage my medications. No more CAMHS. No more psychiatrist. She’s nearer, no more going all the way across town. It’s a woman which not sound like a man-hater, I did want a girl so I’d feel more comfortable talking about birth control, medication fucking up my period cycle and basically girl things. My consultant and therapy in the same building. An on hand team for the emergency I am so obviously heading for… Well, according to everyone except me. Personally I’ve never felt better. They stay with me for 3 years and if at the end of the 3 years I’m ready to be on my own then that’s what happens, if I’m not they continue. I’m listing the pros right now and I don’t actually see many benefits… Maybe I shouldn’t have spent so much time in my own world when they were explaining because I must have thought it was a good idea if I agreed to it, so there must have been more points than that.
I have a CAMHS appointment on Wednesday, possibly my last and a meeting with the consultant two hours later which mean I have to spend time in the waiting room by myself as my dad isn’t coming till the actual meeting time and Miss D is taking me to both appointments, not that anyone was in a happy mood in Friday’s appointment. Well I suppose I was but more giddy than anything else.
WillI I decide whether I’m happy with the consultant on Wednesday? Will the consultant decide she’s ready to take me on? All will be revealed on Wednesday’s blog.