Three Weeks Without EMDR

Today was my first appointment of EMDR after 3 weeks of nothing and I remember just why I hate it. It’s like looking through rose tinted goggles for three weeks and then going back and remembering why you hate doing something so much.

Basically it boils down to my dose will probably be upped again next week or another medication will be added.

I have trust issues with everyone which when I told my dad, he decided that this wasn’t about me but about him and the family. Thanks for that by the way, pa.

Part of the reason I’m still depressed is I’m conditioned that way. Which means when I’m in the depressed phase, I make myself more depressed by focusing on negativity rather than the positivity.

I should do exercise apparently. My choice: self defence. Her answer: tai chi stuff. My thought: boxing or some form of core work that means when I punch someone in the face it actually hurts.

I also have to actually start EMDR on the worst memory if I want to get better. nopenopenope.

Apparently also no should not be apart of my vocabulary and mindfulness is again the thing I need to look up.

I should also go to JLS’ birthday. I still haven’t decided.

I’m just wanting pills, that solution is always favoured for me.

That’s pretty much all I can think of right now.

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