Sorry for my nine day absence, I have had exams but they are over. They are over. Overall I think I got the 5 GCSEs I need to pass, I decided I don’t really care about science anymore and as for maths – well the less said the better. But I now have 4 extra weeks than my brother which I will use to catch up on the social things I have been missing, the only things I actually did update during this time was tumblr and facebook and that’s only because people worry if I don’t. I mean I got emails and things as I hadn’t updated here either but it was hard to keep up to date with them.
So what questions are you thinking? Let me see if I can guess them.
How’s the medication going?
It’s not doing anything good or bad. I mean the dose is too low and not at theraputic level and mr pdocman was supposed to phone me but didn’t or did but we missed the one call and he never called again. It was on private number how are we supposed to call back?! I’ve been in an awful mixed episode for the past few days where I thought about ending it and came close to doing so but didn’t. I threw ‘temper tantrums’, I threatened, I threw things. It wasn’t a very plesant time but as far as I can tell I’ve seen the worse and am now fading onto depression. So much for the pills controlling mixed episodes.
How is EMDR?
Blech. I mean I’ve only done three real sessions and I haven’t had a session this week because exams were in the way and so far no effect. The medication is making me sleep. But still nightmares and flashbacks and well, we haven’t processed the ‘big things’ yet. But I just wonder whether we could start on a smaller big thing. Miss D keeps telling me to ‘rescript’ what happens. But she’s trying to rescript for me and well that doesn’t work. Another person can’t rescript YOUR memory, you have to do it. If you are not happy with the rescripting, it will not work. Simple as. I want to use a gun and she wants me to grow taller. I get a little sick of being told how to deal with things. Tell me HOW to rescript, not WHAT to rescript or whatever. Idk. But to rate it currently: 5/10. I like the therapy aspect – the talking cure. More than the finger thing.
What’s your plan for the summer?
Well JLS is busy most of the summer so I imagine in the very near future I’m going to go to town with her. Plus there is her birthday. I bought Torchwood Series 1-3 so I’ll watch that. I’ll watch the next 4 Supernatural seasons that I have yet to watch. I’ll catch up on my reading. I’ll hopefully FINISH the book – which is only known as the ‘cathatic book’ – over the summer but I have to write some chapters to send to people for next week so that’s pretty much my thing. Like I am stressing about that for the moment, not because it’s needed formally. Just because I promised. I have a lot of appointments in the next few weeks. Literally EVERYTHING is being checked. Okay, not EVERYTHING because I’m not going to a gyno (or will I ever) but I have dentist, my friend’s mum is going to sort my hair out, pdoc, EMDR, othodontist, doctors and something else but I forget. But nothing else, but that fills the next 2 weeks at least and who plans ahead more than two weeks? pls.
How did the exams go in your opinion?
I definitely got 5. I mean I got some last year. English lang, Core science and health which is 3 completed ones. I definitely got a C or higher in RE. I’m pretty sure about getting a C or higher in English lit. My maths exam today definitely went terrible but as for the rest, I couldn’t say. I just couldn’t even predict.
Will you blog more?
I’ll try, man. But I have my life *hears laughing* wut. But no, I will blog more especially to update on EMDR and medicine and stuff but I’ve been watching Ellen Degenres, Jeremy Kyle, Cheaters. I really am watching a lot of TV so if I cut back on that I can fit in blogging.
How are you?