Checking in.

What’s everyone up to?
I know 6 days since my last update, nearing a week. I’ve just been busy. Usual excuse really but I have 4 exams left and medication that is making me sleep more. Good news. Bad news, more nightmares and dissociation which is my problem anyway. I ave EMDR today which I don’t want to do, I just want to crawl into bed and ignore the world. But can’t. I’m not a grown up in the eyes of the law, the school or my family but they sure as hell expect me to act like one. Hypocrisy at it’s finest. But whatever, I could sit here debating what makes sense and what does not. I mean I got a letter addressed to Mrs and Mr [family name] so obviously the psychiatrist doesn’t listen because there is no mum and there is not even a step mum and I bet it’s because Miss D told mr pdocman about how my dad was married before and he got confused because he doesn’t listen. Also was a letter telling my GP about the abuse – thanks for the trigger Mr pdocman. So I listened to my dad rant.

Well how do I deal with stress? With my two favourite impulse control problems. Kleptomania which isn’t strictly just reserved for manic episodes but it does seem to favour them whereas my second favourite cutting is exclusively to depression. I don’t delve into either of them too graphically because one’s illegal and I don’t intend on getting caught because I wrote it on a blog especially as I intend on cutting down on being a klepto and cutting, well. That’s triggering and depressing.

I’ve been listening to a song from 2010 I think, which I loved. Airplanes pt 1 and 2. Also trying to figure out what to get my dad for father’s day. We need new mugs so I was thinking a mug with my mug (and my brother’s) but then I don’t know. Buying for people is difficult.


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