With the family.

My day didn’t get off to the best start. I began to dissociate and flashback in the car for about an hour but it was a two hour car drive so it started to fade out. Funnily enough though, it didn’t stop the manic episode from happening almost immediately and becoming very addicted to temple run 2 on my brother, TB iPad. I got scarily addicted and crazy about it. We were supposed to meet a 1pm but my sister texted saying she wasn’t going to get there till 2pm. TB needed to get dressed and ready which would take him half an hour because he is in a wheel chair, so he probably wouldn’t be there till 1:45-2pm. No one knew whether AdB was actually going to come and SB and his boyfriend run the pub so they would be there whenever we got there. But it’s like the last hurrah before the pub was sold. So we got there and we AdB walking down the road, so I yelled his name several times but he didn’t hear me. It being a particularly warm day we sat outside, AdB had gone down the shops, SB was working inside but his boyfriend (with the same first name as him by the way) was outside with us and so was my dad. TB has bought his iPad so AnB (my youngest brother) and I kept taking it in turns to play but eventually I won control over the iPad.

My sister arrived at 2:15pm roughly in the Aston Martin DB7 which all the boys ran to look at. I sat there on temple run. I wasn’t getting up. I was engrossed. The family decided not to eat at my brother’s pub but rather to go to a different one and I walked along, clutching the iPad threatening to rip the arm off anyone who tried to take it away from me. We got to this pub; I forget what it’s called but they had ‘Mooshakes’ – I know. It had whipped cream on it and because I was playing temple run 2, my brother drank some but then so did I but it was quite sickly so AnB drank the rest. I thought we were eating there but due to flies and the fact my brother couldn’t pull his wheel chair up to the table they decided we had to go eat somewhere else. But not before they finished their drinks. This is where I started to drop. First it manifested as anger and I walked off in a huff because I was hot and “they are taking the piss” because they said they wanted to leave and go eat somewhere else but they wanted to finish their drinks and I was hot and unsettled.

We eventually did leave but Dad, EB (sister) and SB all trailed behind as AnB, AdB, TB and I got to the pub place, admittedly it was a lot nicer. I was depressed, that didn’t help. I didn’t want to eat. I was geniunely not hungry and I was told off for that and was told that it was psychological, it was probably prozacological but apparently I’ve lost weight so there is an upside to everything. I’ll probably gain it all back once depression hits again and I hit the carbs. I also was asked about how often I went to school and when I went to bed, like DUDES. Why? You don’t even know about the fact I have bipolar disorder. Though luckily my dad answered the questions. I was then picked on for my hair despite being called ‘artsy’ by my sister earlier in the day. I didn’t get the blackberry but should get it in a week or two. I left feeling utterly depressed and bad because I was kinda disengaged and harsh by the end of the day. On the bright side I got £20 which I will probably spend on getting my hair professionally dyed red. Or manic spending. One of the two.

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