I’m supposed to not take prozac today… I don’t know if I’m ready to stop, I know how this is going to sound. But I’m used to the dramatic ups and downs throughout the day and the fact that when I’m depressed I know it’s only for a few hours is better than knowing it’s weeks or months and it’s just suffering all the time and it’s ridiculous. I don’t want to stop prozac, I can’t be depressed again for a long time. I just can’t. I can’t crash again, not like that. My dad won’t agree and the psychiatrist and Miss D will yell at me if they find out. But really, am I crazy to want to keep taking it? The mania and the depression being only a few hours and triggered usually is so much easier to deal with emotionally but I suppose more destructive for me and the people around me in the long run. I’m torn on the one hand I want to follow the treatment course but on the other I seriously don’t want to be depressed again.
Logical, right? Wrong. It’s prozacological and yes, it is going to become a thing.