*I apologise in advance for spelling and grammar errors*
Meet a new running feature. So yes, appointment one and boy was it a one. I will explain. I told her about the sexual assualt incident, a little about my mum, the panic attacks, the depression and well I basically got diagnosed PTSD. Even though she is a BP and psychosis specialist she’s going to try EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitatison and Reprocessing) which from what I read on the sheet she gave me and what she said is basically something where they like move things in front of your eyes, make you think of the most horrid incident and that can usually trigger other things and it’s like reprogramming your eyes which reprograms your left side of the brain and the right side of the brain and well, apparently it will be very emotional and very draining.
I promise I’ll try but it’s such against everything ingrained in me, usually I avoid my problems so to face such terrible ones head on is going to be so difficult. I mean just talking about it now has made me so tired, emotionally and physically. I have tension in my shoulders and was taught that I should go to my happy place. I said my room but I don’t really feel relaxed anywhere. But I suppose my room is the safest place.
But I told her and if I get the PTSD out the way, bipolar should be easier. But I’m tired now, so if I remember anymore I’ll just call it “what i remembered from app#1” – I am going to sleep a little.