Reduced dose

The bipolar and psychosis person calls us. Why? Well because apparently I had an appointment today. In my defense, if she did tell me. She told me when I was manic and like I could hold that thought in plus someone wrote all the appointments down, from the phone call from the psychiatrist  to the appointment 17th May. But yes, told her the side effects and she told me to just have one tablet in the morning now so I’m on 0.5mg dosage and apparently my psychiatrist told her I’m “sensitive to these types of tablets” and I feel like that was a jab at my age. But whatever. I just need to stop producing milk for none existence babies.

I can’t actually remember when they rescheduled the appointment for. I don’t actually care either. I feel like bipolar is my safety blanket and sometimes in the moments of wellness and emotional stability I occassionally have I get so scared because when I have bipolar episodes everything is so intense and when you don’t have that intense emotions, it is hard. Maybe that is why the further the treatment process goes the more terrified I get. It’s like what if my life becomes just blahh and not have intense emotions anymore? I mean the lows are low but least I get to feel any emotions I feel sad about when low. When high it’s like being high and what if I don’t get that anymore on the right medication?Plus I feel like my psychiatrist is doing this badly because aren’t I suppose to have a psychologist? Someone I see once a week to talk about life to? I swear in everything I’ve read that’s part of the bipolar treatment. If anyone could tell me their experience, like did they have to be stablized on pills to get a psychologist? or something?

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