So I’m gonna do this chronologically because there will be a massive rant in the middle.
I took the overdose (112mg) at about 10-11pm Sunday night and I slept all through the night, no nightmare. Which is good first time in a long time. But the way it came about wasn’t healthy. But anyway, I woke up and was disorientated, slurring speech – it was like I was drunk. I didn’t want to go with my dad and brother to take my brother to school so I tried to open the door so they put on childlocks. Then when we got home I argued with my dad and told him it was indeed a suicide attempt to which he “already figured I had overdosed on something” and then I showed him my self harm scars and I told him off the sexual assualt, I mean he basically know everything important now. I also promised I’d stop self harming – I’m going to break that promise.
Anyway, I went to the doctors to make sure my organs are alright. The people I have told have said “oh well the doctor probably saw it as a life affirming thing” – actually no. My dad wanted me to do it plus if I was to one day kill myself or my brother came down with an illness before the next time I tried that needed an organ I’d want to know I could give mine. I mean who exactly is judge and jury on whether someone is a risk of suicide again? I mean no one knows the reasons people do the things they do so for her to automatically assume I’d be okay because I got my organs checked was terrible practice. By telling her what I did I as sure she’d send me to a hospital for that 3 day suicide watch programme but she didn’t. I was so fucking shocked by this I mean, really? So I went onto my all knowing bipolar forum (will link forum and my page in forum at the bottom) and they all agree with me. What did people say you ask?
She should have put you in the hospital. That malpractice.
That’s ridiculous! The only thing I can think is that the doctor didn’t take you seriously, because no doctor would say that!
that is a load of crap from the GP. That is totally irresponsible, negligent and as [quote 1] said malpractice. She should have sent you to the hospital. Regardless of if you have BP or not you need to be seen in the hospital because a suicide attempt is a suicide attempt.
I told my pdoc I was depressed and wanted to take all my pills, and he called an ambulance to take me to the ER for crisis intervention.
I can’t imagine a dr doing that. If I would even mention suicide my doc wouldn’t let me out of his office.
I mean I know, don’t use other people’s situations. But they are right. It’s not that I did or did not want to go. It’s the bloody prinicpal of the thing. Anyway I’m seeing my normal GP, my acutal GP, not some poor excuse for a doctor whose room is in the smallest and in the furtherest away corrior with crumbling paint door, on Thursday at 9am (I hope that made sense).
The doctor just told me to sleep it off and I did but then I had my blood test the next day which went well, after months and months of self harm I didn’t feel and could even watch. Then when I got outside I knew I was going to be sick. Within 15 minutes of being home I was being sick, I would sleep and the be sick and now I feel better physically. School tomorrow is iffy but I’m not in, in the morning on Thursday as that’s when I have my appointment.
I’m still feeling ill so I’m going to watch Scrubs and sleep on and off becase this is the first time in a long time I’ve been able to but I know in the next few days it’ll all end and I’ll be back to an insomniac pattern.
Bipolar forum: http://www.bipolardisorderconnect.com/
Friend me on the bipolar forum: http://www.bipolardisorderconnect.com/users/1236772-mylittlesecret