I need to rant about something.
What the hell is going on with my finger?
My right index finger. Feels like there’s a staple or something in it and so I tried to make it bleed but it wouldn’t bleed and I can’t see the staple and it hurts so I have to wear a plaster and it’s pissing me off right about now. /rant
Sorry. I don’t even know what happened, I had dinner and it was just there and it was very annoying and still is so I sitting here thinking “finger. what the fuck?”
My finger has yet to give me an answer.
As for the RE exam, not too bad and my teacher didn’t bring up my lateness or attitude. Overall it was quite positive. Then I proved to my dad that I was smarter in everything but maths. Which was also fun because let’s face it. I am.
Mood? Hm… I don’t know. Like I feel I keep cycling but then I sometimes feel I’m just mixed all the time and depression and mania keep taking turns to be dominant which is annoying as hell. I also feel like if I tell my dad it’ll just annoy him because he doesn’t know what to do and so far all I want to do is do some more of my quote papers. I’ll show you some later. They’re pretty good.
Social life? meh. It’s okay. I’m probably being paranoid because of mixed episode and mania being dominant but I just have this feeling that all my friends, mainly JLS and RH are not talking to me because they hate me or something, like they’re planning something and I rarely talk about paranoia because usually it happens more at night and I hear something and I have a knife in case anyone is there and coming to kill me and stuff and then in the morning when I settle down I feel stupid for the night before. But right now… that’s how I feel and I believe it’s fact and I don’t know whether it’s healthy that I recognise what’s happening and choosing emotion over logic but that is where I am at.
I just want to fall on a side, you know? I want to be able to wake up tomorrow and say “I’m depressed” or “I’m manic” (not that I usually am the first to recognise it in myself) but there’s more chance of it snowing hell than that happening.