Day 6

Side effects: Stops rapid, pressured speaking during mania. Makes me yawn even when I’m not tired.

Treatment: Get pissed off about yawning but be glad people can understand me when manic.

“ooooohhh” I say as I still dont understand what you’re talking about.

My psychiatrist was on a course so I had to talk to some idiot I had seen before who decided I needed “further assessment” and he basically didn’t believe I was getting these side effects because “it takes two weeks to three weeks to get to a theraputic dose”. I’m sorry if my body wants to be a bitch and go against everything you know but actually in a lot of people, just bumping up chemicals slightly can have an adverse effect. Humans aren’t predictable. I don’t know what my chemicals are doing and neither do you (especially as he’s not even familiar with my case).

But he said continue the meds and I don’t mind because I understand we should see what happens at theraputic levels. But he didn’t have to imply that I don’t know what’s going on. It’s rather insulting.

He also said I shouldn’t go to school. I also don’t like the way his voice changed when I said I don’t think it’s fair that I disturb other people’s education with my mood swings. Me being at school is worse for everyone. More triggers for me, not learning anything because I’m too ‘out of it’ to concentrate and distracting others who have a chance at doing well.

But the good things that happened today are: I realised I need to make a plan if I’m going to have all this time off in terms of lessons.
My dad put some of the biscuits I made in my brothers lunch and he shared them with his friends and they loved them.
My brothers friend said ‘safe’ to my dad. Which is a gangster thing but everyone does it now.
My brother stole the detention slip from the register when they went to collect it and so he won’t go to that detention either. Which is just hilarious.

Some good some bad and the good is all you can really ask for.


6 thoughts on “Day 6

  1. I like that you are also listing the good things that are happening, as well as the not so good things. This is a new tool you are using?

    *nudges you ….how is the Maths going?*

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