Happy weekend everyone. I’ve been on holiday all week so I’ve sort of forgotten that not everyone is on holiday this week and so the weekend is a welcome break for you.


I’ve been ill pretty much all week and I think anxiety is to blame. No particular illnesses. Migraines coming and going, dizziness, depersonalisation and just a general feeling of unwellness. I’ve been sleeping more and having nightmares; which I know is going to make the whole “I only sleep for 2-3 hours, insomnia thing” look like a lie. When I went for the appointment it was the truth. My sleep pattern just faded out. It’s weird. So I have been spending most of my time in bed.

I still am not talking with my dad. I’ve spent this entire holiday in not angry mood just disgruntled so I tended to start moving about (getting out of bed) around dinner time (6-7pm) and him going to bed between 8pm and 10pm. I know it sounds harsh and I know I sound like a bit of a child but he angers me whenever we speak so I just have found that the logical choice is to not speak to him. I think what made it really click was him blaming everything he is doing wrong on his eyes. When he’s been doing a lot of it for over a year now.

I have a pile of homework, well not so much a pile. My 21 book pile with a pack of pens in the middle is a pile. This homework is just a lot for what I want to do; which is nothing.

pile-of-paper1Okay, slightly inaccurate size of the pile. My homework list is:

  • History sheet using online stuff that I can’t find because my teacher is an idiot.
  • Biology six marker
  • Biology quiz.
  • Organise RE folder.
  • Write list of notes for one topic.
  • Print off like 100 sheets of things.
  • Revision for maths.

There’s probably more. I have just forgotten it. I’m not too worried about it anymore. I do the work in school, that should be good enough for these people. If it’s not, I just won’t do either. I think a lot of this comes from my resentment of both I and my teacher’s being emailed whenever I go onto their part of the website. Like “hey, Paris just went onto the history part of the site” – no.

But what I plan on getting done tonight:

  1. Biology six marker.
  2. Biology quiz
  3. Organsing RE folder.
  4. Writing up notes.
  5. Catch up on emails, texts and messages.
  6. Watch Ghost Whisper Season 2
  7. Have an hour calming down from the crying I do when watching Ghost Whisper.
  8. Read Saint Jude.
  9. If it’s not morning by now then I am seriously questioning time.
  10. Whilst doing all of that try to keep a grip on reality and not let depersonalisation take you.

4 thoughts on “Weekend

  1. I have cried at Ghost Whisperer too sometimes…and why can they not bring back the dead so they don’t have to go to the light so soon…or let the person ‘see’ them…but anyway … I can only get reruns sometimes.

    How much on your list did you get done?

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