Happy weekend everyone. I’ve been on holiday all week so I’ve sort of forgotten that not everyone is on holiday this week and so the weekend is a welcome break for you.
I’ve been ill pretty much all week and I think anxiety is to blame. No particular illnesses. Migraines coming and going, dizziness, depersonalisation and just a general feeling of unwellness. I’ve been sleeping more and having nightmares; which I know is going to make the whole “I only sleep for 2-3 hours, insomnia thing” look like a lie. When I went for the appointment it was the truth. My sleep pattern just faded out. It’s weird. So I have been spending most of my time in bed.
I still am not talking with my dad. I’ve spent this entire holiday in not angry mood just disgruntled so I tended to start moving about (getting out of bed) around dinner time (6-7pm) and him going to bed between 8pm and 10pm. I know it sounds harsh and I know I sound like a bit of a child but he angers me whenever we speak so I just have found that the logical choice is to not speak to him. I think what made it really click was him blaming everything he is doing wrong on his eyes. When he’s been doing a lot of it for over a year now.
I have a pile of homework, well not so much a pile. My 21 book pile with a pack of pens in the middle is a pile. This homework is just a lot for what I want to do; which is nothing.
- History sheet using online stuff that I can’t find because my teacher is an idiot.
- Biology six marker
- Biology quiz.
- Organise RE folder.
- Write list of notes for one topic.
- Print off like 100 sheets of things.
- Revision for maths.
There’s probably more. I have just forgotten it. I’m not too worried about it anymore. I do the work in school, that should be good enough for these people. If it’s not, I just won’t do either. I think a lot of this comes from my resentment of both I and my teacher’s being emailed whenever I go onto their part of the website. Like “hey, Paris just went onto the history part of the site” – no.
But what I plan on getting done tonight:
- Biology six marker.
- Biology quiz
- Organsing RE folder.
- Writing up notes.
- Catch up on emails, texts and messages.
- Watch Ghost Whisper Season 2
- Have an hour calming down from the crying I do when watching Ghost Whisper.
- Read Saint Jude.
- If it’s not morning by now then I am seriously questioning time.
- Whilst doing all of that try to keep a grip on reality and not let depersonalisation take you.