The previous blog I posted I am well aware how harsh she sounded. But to BD saying I should kill myself I told her I would. that that was the push I needed and it was just to guilt trip her. I get so angry when I hear that another person killed themselves because people like her tell them to kill themselves, it’s horrible and to make sure she didn’t say it to someone close to the edge or more impressionable and would do it. I wanted to scare her so she wouldn’t say it again. So I said that it was the push I needed to do it.
But she told a mutual friend of ours whose nickname is IG and to keep the pretense up I told her I was going to. Looking back it was probably stupid. But everytime I hear another person has killed themselves it breaks my heart and boils my blood. Anyway, I chickened out, I thought the joke had got too far out of hand so I told IG “I need to tell you and ask you something” and she asked me what and I said “I’m not going to kill myself, promise 🙂 and I want you to not to talk to [BD] about me. Even if it’s nice.” and to which she said “ok, promise”.
I thought that was the end. BD then messages me later and asks “are you alright?” to which I answer “why do you care, you told me to kill myself” to which she said “ok and then without me even replying to that she said: “I do care abot you [blahblahblah insert crappy i care for you now stuff here] and I hope you’re not mad at IG for calling the cops”
I told her I wasn’t going to, several times. She also spoke to BD about me whe she promised she wouldn’t. two stabs in the back. So now my family and I run the risk of getting kicked out because the landlord person doesn’t like the police being around without a good reason. A joke like this isn’t a good reason.
So now I hate them both and am no longer friend with them. Either of them. But of course, hearing this I had a panic attack.
But there’s another bit to this story. Half an earlier, I was sitting in my room when I heard a phone ring. So I got up because I wasn’t sure and I saw my dad over the phone turning it off because it was an unknown number, like the number didn’t show up not he didn’t recognise it. They had blocked their number. I got a gut feeling it was something to do with me.
So when I heard of what happened, I had a panic attack. Told my brother and then told my dad. My dad was okay about it. We stayed up till Midnight, I started my sociology essay. Then my dad went to bed. Anyway so whilst still arguing with those people and in the middle of writing this blog. I hear my dad on the phone. It was the police.
I talked to the woman and she was a real bitch. She said we wasted time and resources. We didn’t call them. Some bitches across the pond did. She said she needed to see me because she thought I lied about being me. So we went in and I explained how they had changed what had happened, exaggerated it and that I was trying to prove a point because if I saved one person from being told to kill themselves by Brianna, then none of this is in vain.
The police man was nice, we talked about schools and then left. It was funny, at first I felt angry and anxious, the angry and then just nothing. Numbness. Nothing at all. Scary and exhilarating. But I stopped, them. I scared them. We’re not friends anymore. But I was looking for an excuse anyway. I’m glad we’re not friends anymore. It brings me happiness.