Dissociativeness and schedule breaking.

So I am a little angry at the moment. Admittedly that I fell asleep before dinner and for a while after dinner which equated to two hours but I remember waking up and checking my phone and so forth and then after 9pm (maybe a little earlier) I can’t remember a thing. I can’t remember when I put my drops in or moving these books from my bed or any of that. Dissociativeness is an annoyance but it’s not like I bite off my own hand like from ‘Girl, interrupted’ did in the book. But it just ruins my schedule because it means I spent all night in bed, not asleep, not awake and not doing anything practical. I had plans. Sleep, do dad’s drops, watch something to wake up properly, revise all night for English with breaks and drops but I didn’t snap out of this damned period until 4am and so what? Now I’m left with two hours to revise on two exams I have today last two lessons and I’m never as my sharpest for the last two lessons. I can’t even remember what exams I have today,  I’m hoping it’s literature “Of Mice and Men” but I can’t find out for definate, I need to get my English folder and revise in these last two hours anyway. I hate dissociative episodes but it’s pretty obvious why it happened: mixed episode with increased anxiety and my mind needed a break but couldn’t my mind wait till Friday? But I guess you can’t predict mental illness episodes.

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