Don’t worry, I’m not about to tell you I had wild sex with some unknown tall, dark and handsome figure. Not that I don’t look forward to the day that happens 😉 Depressed me is kidding, mania me is not.
I spent a lot of money. Not on eBay with my dad and brother so it was somewhat controlled.
I bought whatever I felt like so instead of the weekly shop coming to £55, it came to £75-80.
But in my head, I didnt think it was a lot. I thought it was normal. So when dad and my brother yelled at me to stop buying I didn’t understand it.
Also, my dad and brother couldn’t follow my thought pattern. So it led to me getting irritable. It’s quite distressing.
I’ve calmed down a little since then so instead of mania B, I’m at manic D-C. Hence why I can write.
You don’t notice how bad you are till you have calmed down and review it. Which is why it can make depression worse due to the guilt.
So your sense of judgement is sufficently hinded. Which is why I didn’t realize at the time, pushing my brother in a box and standing on the toilet rolls and yelling “LOL, RAGE QUIT” at my brother was inappropriate. But it is. Obviously. At least that’s what my dad and the manager said. Sort of awkward when I had to say “This is discrimination against the mentally ill” at which point he apologised and swiftly left. The manager, not my dad.
My dad doesn’t understand and thinks it’s messing about. It’s not. So he gets frustrated and I will get frustrated or I’ll act up more.
I also notice whilst I only get one short migraine during depression, I will get several long lasting ones during mania. I don’t know whether it’s the increase of energy (which HAS to come from an increase of one chemical or another) or the fact I’m louder or the racing thoughts. But it won’t go away so I need to ask my doctor for some migraine tablets.
Sorry another short blog again. But just imagine how long Thursday’s will be? School, CAMHS and the doctors all in one blog. It’ll sure make up for the short mania blogs.