Loss of judgement.

Don’t worry, I’m not about to tell you I had wild sex with some unknown tall, dark and handsome figure. Not that I don’t look forward to the day that happens 😉 Depressed me is kidding, mania me is not.

I spent a lot of money. Not on eBay with my dad and brother so it was somewhat controlled.
I bought whatever I felt like so instead of the weekly shop coming to £55, it came to £75-80.
But in my head, I didnt think it was a lot. I thought it was normal. So when dad and my brother yelled at me to stop buying I didn’t understand it.
Also, my dad and brother couldn’t follow my thought pattern. So it led to me getting irritable. It’s quite distressing.
I’ve calmed down a little since then so instead of mania B, I’m at manic D-C. Hence why I can write.
You don’t notice how bad you are till you have calmed down and review it. Which is why it can make depression worse due to the guilt.
So your sense of judgement is sufficently hinded. Which is why I didn’t realize at the time, pushing my brother in a box and standing on the toilet rolls and yelling “LOL, RAGE QUIT” at my brother was inappropriate. But it is. Obviously. At least that’s what my dad and the manager said. Sort of awkward when I had to say “This is discrimination against the mentally ill” at which point he apologised and swiftly left. The manager, not my dad.
My dad doesn’t understand and thinks it’s messing about. It’s not. So he gets frustrated and I will get frustrated or I’ll act up more.
I also notice whilst I only get one short migraine during depression, I will get several long lasting ones during mania. I don’t know whether it’s the increase of energy (which HAS to come from an increase of one chemical or another) or the fact I’m louder or the racing thoughts. But it won’t go away so I need to ask my doctor for some migraine tablets.
Sorry another short blog again. But just imagine how long Thursday’s will be? School, CAMHS and the doctors all in one blog. It’ll sure make up for the short mania blogs.


4 thoughts on “Loss of judgement.

  1. I wonder if the migraines have something to do with blood flow for you. When manic you are more active? maybe thoughts too. Mine left yesterday.. I feel so much better, twas a week. I hate them. It is very complex, the reasons for them.. there are so many possible reasons for them. For me It is when light hurts.. that is what I called my last post on them, think I have done a few now. Did I mention I hated them? I do you know. really really hate them. eeeps.

    wait, you pushed your brother into a box in a grocery store? People had problems with that? *giggles* I probably wouldn’t help taping it shut then. lol. Was there a reason? or did it just seem like a good opportunity? awwww I am not really teasing you. Lots of sisters would like to do that. 😉

    • I get migraines when: too much sound (more the vibration of it then anything), too much stress, too little sleep, too much rapid thinking, too much light (especially if I look at the source and also why I wear sunglasses outside even when not really sunny) and too much exercise. Maybe blood flow is a part of it. I did read it and agree, I hate them too. I’m going to see my doc, see if I can get some more migraine tablets.

      I was just very happy and manic and tickling him and then found immense enjoyment is pushing him. So reason and opportunity (like any crime). Hehe, I know you’re not teasing me. More light hearted jousting 😀

  2. flashing lights, low pressure fronts too. It was windy one night the past summer, Howling, a pressure front was coming. Windows were open and the house sort of shook and the wind went through, it felt like a vacuum. I felt my head pop a bit and within seconds I had one. Blood pressure is definitely a part of it. did you check yours yet? There is a lot now about high blood pressure, younger patients and mania.

    I don’t know, picturing you “boxing” him in a store makes me giggle a bit, not fair to him I suppose.. but that is what brothers are for isn’t it? (ok, giggling more…)

    • Yeah; I’ve noticed that a change in pressure or atmosphere a lot of people (especially girls) get headaches. When we were getting the rain from Sandy, in PE a lot of girls had headaches.
      I got it checked when depressed; normal. I dno could rise during mania.

      Haha, yeah 😀

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