“Coming from crazy here?”

Overall mood of the day: Hypomanic.Mood now: Sort of relxed hypomania.
Nursing: A migriane.
Thing I found most offensive today: poster has been put up in school saying 61% of people with bipolar disorder are drug uses. Reason I find it offensive? Why is bipolar specifically picked on? A lot of people with mental illness are drug users “About one to two per cent of the general population is diagnosed with bipolar disorder (a roughly equal number of men and women) in their lifetime, usually in their 20s or 30s, although some teenagers are affected” whereas “Depression with anxiety is experienced by 9.7 per cent of people” and “Mixed anxiety and depression is the most common mental disorder in Britain” I am not saying bipolar disorder shouldn’t be publized, but really? Associated with drugs when depression is much more common, almost 5 times more people suffer with depression than bipolar disorder and the timing just seems off. Is it aimed at me? I fucking hope not.

Awkwardest thing today: In health JLS and SK got in several arguments. It’s hard because in any argument, I’m objective – meaning I don’t take sides, I agree with points, plus hypomania hates negative energy and atmosphere.
I agreed with JLS when: she called SK paranoid.
Story: Near the beginning of starting work, SK bum touched JLS’ shoulder as she was squeezing past. Later in the lesson we were joking that JLS was dating my dad (hypomania, don’t think – only joking) and ER told us that a heart isn’t a heart organ but actually a ladies bum when they bend over – I did already know that to be honest. But SK then said “are you talking about me?” – SK sits next to ER, she was listening so it was a little pathetic to make that argument. It killed the mood. It wasn’t even like JLS made the comment. ER made the comment and in the context, it wasn’t offensive.

I agreed with SK when: She said that JLS shouldn’t call people fat.
Story: JLS told us how she saw some “fat person” – after that my mind buzzed off to other places and I began incessant talking to MR.
Opinion: I don’t like it when a reason for a dislike or even an insult is that someone is fat. Firstly because fat is subjective, some people call a UK size 8 fat while others would say it’s needing a forklift to get out of the house. We also wouldn’t know the reason. So I hate it when people say that someone is fat, ugly, etc. I didn’t agree with SK when she said “JLS couldn’t really talk because she was fat” because not only is she sorta my friend and fat shouldn’t be an insult. It wasn’t in the 1700s, 1800s, it was a sign of wealth so I don’t know why we had to once again change a word with a perfectly good meaning.
Why am I answering things like this: Because my thoughts were disconjunted, my memory is worse so instead of describing the entire day, I do it out of order and like this :3
What did I pick for taster day: Well we had to pick 6 options for taster A levels but only get 4 of them and like I said, I would have liked some time to think about it so I could get them in the perfect order of preference, my order was: 1. Psychology, 2. biology, 3. law, 4. chemistry, 5. general studies and 6. English lit/lang. That was the order I put. If I was given a chance to think about it, I would have put 1. Psychology, 2. law, 3. general studies and 4. English lit/lang. 5. Biology and 6. chemistry Why? Because I already do biology and chemistry so if push comes to shove I can just ask my teachers but I don’t do the first 4. Well I do English. I did lang last year but have two exams for it in January and am doing Lit this year with two exams in January. I could ask my English teacher about it but I would have preferred to have picked it. The fact my form tutor seems to do different to every other form tutor annoys me; this is why we’re screwed. Sorry, I have recently come across a site called THIS is why we’re screwed and it’s bloody hilarious. Well for the most part.
Exam timetable: Got it today. Five exams all within the first two weeks back after Christmas. Two straight after eachother in the afternoon of 1 day and two in the morning of the day after – all English. We better have a rest afterwards… serious.
So how are you fairing against hypomania: I’m just bloody glad I’m not fully manic. With hypomania I have some control. I suck my thumb or chew a pen (unfortuantely breaking through it) to stop the impluse to talk. Not many bad impluses. But I’m relaxed hypomania, I’ll probably go up to high end of hypomania again and then low mania, then high mania. After mania slows down to go to depression, my body becomes physically and mentally worn out. By the way, relaxed hypomania is somewhat and oddity as it makes no sense. I’m tired but my mind is still going a mile a minute. I can sit still but yes, mind a mile a minute. It’s because whilst depression flucates minimally over the course of it (e.g on one day I’ll be a 4, the next a 3, back to a 4 etc), mania will fluctuate a lot in the day so I could be a Mania C, to Mania D, to Mania A. It all really depends. I also just realized, I have been doing the mania bit for the mood diary backwards using A as top instead of E. Don’t worry, changed them round. I can be an idiot sometimes. I hope I can maintain hypomania for my History controlled assessment.

How are you today?



4 thoughts on ““Coming from crazy here?”

  1. Hey munchkin *hugs* I am nursing a migraine also, day three for me. *sighs* I do hate them. I like the way you write, I really get the feel of how your mind is that day. The slow pace for depressed and the jumping all over like today’s. When things are all better, and they are going to be soon, are you going to continue with the blog? bet that caught question you by surprise. notice I said when? they will be.

    hmm, exams. They can really mess someone up. How do you do with them in the panic sort of way?

    I wonder if that poster should say 61% of untreated people… many have no idea why they feel as they do, and self medicate in any fashion they think works, and do so for a long time.

    People can be mean. there is no nice way to say that. We spoke of that before. Some don’t think when they blurt something out, or put up a sign.

    oh oh oh, did you watch Once upon a time? A lot happened this week with Emma.

    • I am on day… I don’t even know. What day is it today? Thursday, right? I’m on day… I don’t know. It’s been a while.
      Of course! I’ll blog about medications, relapses, general musings of my day.
      I noticed, I have that faith too at the moment.

      Well I took a diazepam this time. But before, the one exam I had with panic attacks was moved to another room where I was watched… That just creeped me out xD

      I know, I feel bad for them. I do. I just highly doubt that this year enough students have come out with bipolar disorder that warranted a poster. Also, how many are these are drug addicts? I’m wondering why on Earth these posters were needed when depression is much more common.

      I know, I liked seeing Emma’s past. How she ended up there, who that guy was, who Henry’s father was. On a spoiler site I go on where you can leave comments a lot of people thing that Henry’s father is Baelfire.

      • Depression this time of year is growing, *nods* I am seeing a lot of it. Who puts the posters up? Maybe you should inquire why they chose that one.

        I liked the giants castle, the giant was Hugo from lost, it is hard to think of him as being mean, turns out he was’t so mean. I am not sure if I saw a preview for this weekends show. hmmm, guess I will wait and see.

        • there’s not just one person who puts up posters. Anyone really can put them up. So it’ll take me a long time to get to the bottom of it.

          i’ve seen it. We’ll see how Red experiences the curse in storybrooke and Charming’s ‘father’ will be leading the hunt. From the preview I saw that Red was blaming herself for the murder.

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