A day…

A day has 24 hours.That’s 1440 minutes.
That’s 86,400.
I am up on average 22 hours a day.
According to a random site I stumbled upon whilst trying to find out how many seconds in a day there are I found out I am going to die on Monday, November 15th 2055. http://www.deathclock.com/
It sounds long but really it’s quite short. Even with all my extra time due to insomnia, I wonder where the time goes. Even though time drags on in certain lessons, overall it goes quite fast. I’ll be out the house in two years. I can’t even believe 2012 is almost over! I still keep getting confused between 2012 and 2011, although many people seemed to have quit that habit by March. I remember when I was just floating through school, doing the bare minimum required of me. I kept up with Peer support and GAP (G[school name] Against Poverty) but Year 9 was a quick change in friends. From my 2-3 year friendship group, to a group that I was quite friends with and were always nice to me but then moved to a group of friends that made me laugh. It was such a time, that feels quite a time ago but then sometimes High school feels like yesterday. I suppose time speed changes in our head a lot.
Today, I was talking to a girl about Christmas and she sad she was going to wait till December to get her Christmas presents. On it’s face a good idea, but time flies quickly. Soon it’ll be December but she won’t find the time due to the intense atmosphere of Christmas and if you think time goes fast now (which I do even though I don’t sleep), wait till December rolls around. Time will fly.

Today I have varied between hypomania and mixed. So I should be elated soon, manic – fully. I have to plan around my moods a lot. It gets annoying sometimes. When too depressed I know I don’t want to do anything, when manic I want to do everything. Good on it’s surface. But I lose self awareness thinking I’m invincible, so my dad doesn’t like letting me out without supervision.
I’m sure a lot of you do notice the tone of my blogs in each mood swing; it leads to a little inconsistency.

Anyway, my day.
It starts off with a maths exam. Well I tend to count the beginning of my day at school and the end of it is the beginning of the next school day. Just because i can’t really do the whole “my day starts when I wake up” thing because I don’t sleep really. Anyway, had to take a diazepam just in case as I was going to be in a crowd. I know I wasn’t depressed but better safe than sorry. I was mixed at this time with tendencies of hypomania. SK said I was hyper… She really doesn’t get it. I wasn’t that confident but I had the black cat that’s been in the family 50 years and a pentagram necklace. I don’t know how much validity good luck charms have but for the love of everything I hoped they worked. The only question I remember is the 1st one because it annoyed me by using bad English. The question was: we were given a menu, people could only have either a starter and a main or a main and pudding. The gave an example of a combinations; think it was soup and curry. Then asked how many different combinations there were. It didn’t tell us whether to include their example. My answer was “8. Unless we’re supposed to count your combination in which case there is 9.” This is why we’re screwed. If exams can’t even be made properly, how am I, a sleep deprived teenager going to get any grades worth bragging about 😉
We were supposed to go back to lessons but like every time this happens (when we have an exam in the morning) half the people go, half the people go to break. So instead of a 20min break, we had a 35min one. AS told us that her teacher gave her a yellow form with all the subject choices for A level and what you need to be able to do it. E.g. all of the subjects need English lang, most need maths, science subjects need a BB grade (two GCSEs are given for science and you need two Bs). Apparently it was in for today. Our taster choices. Not our official choices. Maybe Mrs AY will do it in form tomorrow with us. I think it’s a little unfair however because a lot of people got the yellow form on Friday and had the weekend to think about it, whilst we’ll have to make decisions that morning. I was lucky as I came across an abandoned yellow form on my travels. I think I’ve figured it out which 6 (possibly 7 for taster) I am going to pick: psychology, law, chemisty, biology, general studies and …. I draw a blank. I’m picking general studies for two reasons 1. I have no idea what it is. 2. From what has been on boards at the beginning of term for the past two years you can take it as an extra A level, something I am interested in doing.
It was now time for me to go to the library instead of textiles. At first I was thinking, I hadn’t anything to do. But I looked through my notebook with the plan of drawing DLG (Dentist Light Girl) yet again but found I have RE homework so I did that and now I am homework free tonight leaving me time to write blogs and read blogs and smash my internetz 😉 because it keeps breaking (I bought a phone battery off eBay, fingers crossed it fixes my damn phone). I finished my homework 15mins before I had to go to maths so I drew a picture of DLG (maybe in the hopes it’ll draw her out 😦 HAHA! I MADE A PUN). I finished that within 5 minutes and decided I’d go to student support and just say “hey, I’m here, I was in the library… I didn’t skip lessons” – though because my mood was gradually falling it didn’t much come out like that, more a spew of social awkwardness. I then decided to walk around school for a bit and listen to music. I then walked up to maths and accidently bumped into my RE teacher, she asked how my maths exam went. More spewed social awkwardness.
Maths then, I think it was meant to be a treat but we watched a maths video. The first one is how these people worked out how many tiles were needed to redecorate the bathroom and the other was mathagic (something like that), JLS made fun of the guy but I actually found him quite genius. If you google math magic and find a video of a guy who is really energetic and can work out sums faster than a calculator you’ve got the right video. The whole tile thing I think was to prepare us for the next part “number and geometry” – I can’t wait for the final maths exam as after that NO MORE MATHS!
English was next, I’m quite good at analysing texts but for the January exam you need to remember quotes out of AN ENTIRE BOOK! I think it’s a little unfair. What if you are like me and have a poor memory. What I don’t understand is. At the beginning of the year they asked us to buy three books: Lord of the Flies, Of Mice and Men and Blood Brothers. Admittedly, I wasn’t too annoyed having to buy Lord of The Flies as I do want to read that anyway. But if it’s taken us two terms to go through one book, how are we supposed to go through three. I digress.
Lunch I sat by a radiator with JLS, I then began to walk about because I was antsy and irritable. Lunch wasn’t really that exciting. I do enjoy watching the card came though and the rubix cubes. But I spent majority of lunch listening to JLS moan about the boyfriend she got back with. I really would just end it if he upset me this much. I also had to listen to her moan about this guy she liked who liked her who whilst in the process of breaking up with her boyfriend asked him whether he wanted her or this other girl he flirted with at a party they went to at the weekend but he ended up telling everyone that JLS had been a bitch about the question… I dno, just teenage drama. That makes her cry. I wish I had that drama. Better than what I have to live through as every person has to deal with love drama, not everyone has to deal with what I have to deal with but sometimes I do enjoy listening as it reminds me that I could be that sort of person. We had English again but it was the same sort of thing.

So yeah, overall not a bad day. Hypomanic now. Sorry for the length of time between me doing one bloggy thing and then another, technical difficulties 😉


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