I took the diazepam at 8pm, I laid down for over an hour. But mixed episodes still have the wired brain of mania so unlike depression I couldn’t keep lying there.
I knew it wasn’t going to work but I needed to prove it to myself. I was right.
Sometimes I wish I was wrong.
So, I’m stuck because my brain is wired but not enough to do anything, so I am going to watch something. It’s annoying really because if I don’t get enough mental stimulation, mentally I will just get bored. So after I’ve watched something, I’ll have to watch something else because whilst my mind buzzes to the creative side, it’ll stop enjoying it and get depressed if I were to fail, leading to frustration and anger.
I really, really hate mood swings.
Wanna hear something hilarious?
You know how a lot of women when it’s there time of the month get really hormonal and emotional. I never did. Honestly. So this is just ironic.
I hate having to plan my life around them. Knowing that everything is dictated by them. Having to talk to people. Not you lovely lot. Teachers.
It still hurts that Mrs BG told my dad that I burden JLS a lot when she has her own problems. She gets a lot of attention.
I just realised… we didn’t go to the careers thing. The sixth form open day. My dad wanted to go…
Now I have the urge to wake him up and ask.
I should indulge an urge or two or they will go mental. Excuse the pun.