Three Hours Later…

I took the diazepam at 8pm, I laid down for over an hour. But mixed episodes still have the wired brain of mania so unlike depression I couldn’t keep lying there.

I knew it wasn’t going to work but I needed to prove it to myself. I was right.
Sometimes I wish I was wrong.

So, I’m stuck because my brain is wired but not enough to do anything, so I am going to watch something. It’s annoying really because if I don’t get enough mental stimulation, mentally I will just get bored. So after I’ve watched something, I’ll have to watch something else because whilst my mind buzzes to the creative side, it’ll stop enjoying it and get depressed if I were to fail, leading to frustration and anger.

I really, really hate mood swings.

Wanna hear something hilarious?
You know how a lot of women when it’s there time of the month get really hormonal and emotional. I never did. Honestly. So this is just ironic.

I hate having to plan my life around them. Knowing that everything is dictated by them. Having to talk to people. Not you lovely lot. Teachers.
It still hurts that Mrs BG told my dad that I burden JLS a lot when she has her own problems. She gets a lot of attention.
I just realised… we didn’t go to the careers thing. The sixth form open day. My dad wanted to go…
Now I have the urge to wake him up and ask.
I should indulge an urge or two or they will go mental. Excuse the pun.

Night πŸ™‚


10 thoughts on “Three Hours Later…

  1. eeeps again, you missed career day. How did that happen? I forgot to nag you, tis my fault.

    Interesting you brought that up. I was wondering, does you cycle work in with your mood swings at all? Have you plotted that?

    • It was Sixth Form Open day, getting mixed up between the two days. You can’t nag me about school πŸ˜›
      I dno, I forgot because I have a poor memory, dad didn’t think I was stable enough to go so he didn’t tell me.

      No, because they’re completely irregular. I skip months, then I’m a week or two late. They aren’t part of it. I’ve been asked that before and I hate it when people ask if they’re assoicated in me. They’re not. *stern look*

  2. I can’t? there are limits to what I can nag about? Are you sure? There are rules about this? *goes to check the rule book* πŸ˜‰

    eeeps, a stern look. *hides*

    *peeks* *makes notes not to ask that again* *grins*

    awww, hugs.

    do you think you would have liked going to career day? Or did you not really miss much?

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