The past few days.

So I haven’t written in the past few because there hasn’t been anything noteworthy.

Thursday and Friday I had the day off school. Depressed both days. Friday I got elastic bands put on my braces (I do realize how silly it is that someone my age has braces but I had stubborn baby teeth) that stretch from the back bottom tooth to the incisors at the top. The mood diary is at the bottom of the page.

So I got the diazepam (valium) on Friday and of course before I took it, I read the little leaflet that comes with it. The little prescription booklet with it. There are side effects that can worsen my state of mind, well…

The two I thought were most worrying; nightmares and the fact it can worsen depression. So to give someone with nightmares and bipolar these pills makes me question the whole institute of it. So shall I describe my night: The first ten to twenty minutes brought nothing – not complaining, I needed to brush my teeth and of course I had forgotten to do this before hand.

Then it began.

I got aggitated and aggressive. I argued and my muscles tensed (causing my shoulder which has problems of its own to be in immense pain) but after about 1hr of that, my muscles calmed and relaxed, here is where I thought I’d fall asleep. Didn’t. Laid in bed, did finally fall asleep at 7am but I have a feeling that was more due to tiredness than the pill, woke up about 9:30am having a nightmare. Never had a nightmare after sleeping for less than 3 hours,so thank you pills. Then took one this morning (was supposed to, think because of my anxiety). I actually forgot I had taken it due to the little effect it had on me. I’m supposed to be taking this for anxiety? Well, I haven’t been in a crowd yet so I don’t know if it works for that.

My dad annoyed me though. We were in the car and there was this girl, staring at me and I said “Should have put my middle finger up at her” and my dad saying: “are you going up?” My inital reaction was -_- “No, dad. Why would you think that?” **insert argument here**, in the end it came down to he does not know my moods as well as I thought he did.

But my problem at this moment in time is that I have a crackling in my ear, giving me ear ache. I have tried keeping it could, keeping it warm, putting water down it (yes I know I shouldn’t) and good ol’ fashion tipping my head to one side and tapping it to get out the bad stuff. I mean it only crackles when my jaws move so obviously, they are related so of course this enhances my depression and makes me want to cry.

“We walk the plank on a sinking ship” is the inspiration I want to leave you with today and now is time for my mood diary – News lady



Other notes.

Thursday 27th September



Day off school because too tired and too depressed to get out of bed. Stayed in bed most of the day. Intrusive thoughts made depression worse. Lethargic and not wanting to be sociable.

Friday 28th September



Day off school due to depression. Same as day before.

Saturday 29th September



Irritability. Unsociable. Tense. Argumentative. Short tempered.

Volia, mood diary. Enjoy :). On the day I have to mail this into my pdoc, I will copy and paste a completed copy on my blog :).


10 thoughts on “The past few days.

    • Hello again,
      Always a pleasure hearing from you.
      I don’t think I have psoriasis but my mother has it and there is a genetic component to having it and since I get all genetic ailments from her side it is possible I have or will have it. I just don’t know the symptoms well enough to see a gp about it.

  1. it is a dry skin type or rash, sort of whitish. Yes genetic and also flairs with stress. I was just wondering as it could be the crackling in your ears. Could just be your cold too. Hope it goes soon, it can be very annoying when you eat.

    • Hello,
      I haven’t had a cold in weeks but the psoriasis thing is interesting. The spray I have doesn’t seem to be helping. If by the end of the week (the time the crackling is supposed to have stopped) it hasn’t stopped I’ll go back and ask them about your idea. It is a possibility, I do have a lot of dermatitilogical issues which I have ignored because in the grand scheme of things it didn’t seem like a thing I should focus on. I appreciate this advice greatly as I’ve never really thought about it. Thank you 🙂

  2. was the spray a prescription? Has a gp peeked in your ear? It is easy to spot, more so if you are looking for it.

    You know I want to just pick you up and hug away all your troubles. But I think you are going to do that, you are very bright. 🙂

    • Yes the spray was prescription, it was a nurse who looked inside. But my luck is always that one problem causes another.

      Aw 🙂 Thank you! If only hugging could solve everyone’s problems. But it does help 😛 Thank you for all your help and advice and kind words.
      We need more people like you in the world 🙂 x

  3. Well if she wasn’t looking for it, she may have missed it. But that may not be it at all. And yes one leads to another, but one by one, they will all get better. you are a fighter!

    think I am going to follow you, so I can give you the odd hug.. and smack too, to keep you on your path.


    • That’s true, I don’t think she even looked at my medical record, just wrote in it. But you are right, they wil one by one get better.

      Haha, I think I do need the odd smack and hug, I’ve started following you too. I’ve read a few of your blogs at the moment. I like how they’re short, sweet and inspiring.

      **hugs back**

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