I’d like to start off by saying thank you for commenting on my blog, it gives me a warm feeling inside 🙂
This blog is going to be short because it’s 7:02am and I need to get ready for school but I know a lot of you are dying to know whether I went to Mr TD.
But not for the reason you think.
So all day people I had told previously kept asking whether I’d go or laughing at the fact he asked me.
The lesson before lunch was health. We were working on coursework and everyone was talking. Now I don’t know whether it was the tiredness, the tiredness and mixed episode or what but I got panicky with the voices talking over eachother as it reminded me of my hallunication before.
Quick explanation of that: Last time I hallunicated was sort of end of my manic phase when I was going into depression. I had an auditory hallunication, of a farmer, a farmer’s wife and this other man all arguing. I mean, it could have just tapped right into my subconsious because when I was little I spent a lot of time at my dad’s work place which is where I saw and heard a lot of farmers shouting at livestock.
But anyway, reminded me of that and I got panicky, I went outside and calmed myself down from having a fullblown panic attack. But at the end of the lesson where everyone in the class started talking. Boom! Panic attack. Ran outside, pushed MR (didn’t mean to) and it started. Constricted chest, hypoventillating, crying, couldn’t breath. SK and JLS came over and tried to calm me down but SK did just freeze up herself, bless her. JLS told her to go get Miss (this nice blonde lady Miss who has helped me several times) and after a few inain questions SK went, she didn’t return but I saw her hanging about near by. JLS came in to the medical room with me and I had to sit there until I calmed down. So I missed all of lunch calming down then I could really not be bothered to go back to any lessons seeing as it was RE and PE, I do like RE but if I went to that I had to go to PE and I was tired from the panic attack so I just told them to send me home. It is a bit ironic that the panic attack happened before RE and PE again but mores the pity. I bet Mr TD is going to have a go at me again but I really don’t care. I’m just sick of looking like a prat everytime I had a panic attack. But I think overall the panic attack was a good thing as it relieved the tension and got my mixed episode down to just a depressed period which is now what I’m in but I’ve totally lost track of what episode is when and now cannot predict for them but if we’re going by usualness than around the beginning of October mania should begin.
Wish me luck on my History controlled assessment. Sorry it was a short one.